RAT!

(picture from Google Images...it was just so perfect)

This is just one of the incidents that leaves you thinking ..."did that seriously just happen!?"

I saw a rat in Portland.  Maybe I should rephrase that as it might not be uncommon to see these rodents in Portland.  Better phrasing: I encountered a rat in Portland.
It wasn't just your average nod-as-you-pass-by encounter.  Oh no...it was worse.  It was more of a "hey, let's carry on a detailed conversation as we play the awkward game of chicken, and then, just to be safe....let's do it a couple more times" type of encounter.  Here's how it went down:

I had just crossed a busy intersection and was feeding my dog at the up curb.  The light had just changed and now cars were passing behind me.  Pedestrians were now crossing the other street towards me.
Suddenly screams erupted.  Out the corner of my eye, I saw the people walking in the crosswalk jump sideways.  Then I saw why.  I had never seen a rat in real life, other than the ones at Petsmart...those "domesticated" ones, if there is such a thing.  Kind of sounds like an oxymoron to me. "domesticated rat". hmm.
Anyways, I knew at once it was a rat.  It literally resembled the size a small gray cat.  I'm not joking...it was that big.  It's tail stretched out behind it at least 9 inches.
And there it was, scurrying across Alder street at Broadway like it owned the place; in the middle of the crosswalk in broad daylight dodging in and out of the pedestrians footfalls.  Baffling.
Time went into slow motion.
Here's my thought-conversation as my brain processed this sight.
"Ok, I need to get fully up onto the curb because this rat is going to want to go into the sewer grate I am almost standing over." Made logical sense.
With that I told my dog "forward".  My dog, (who had not yet had visual on oncoming rat) obliged and stepped up onto the sidewalk.
Not a step later, I realized with horror that this was no ordinary rat.  Of course he wasn't.  This rat was super rat.  He had planned to take the crosswalk when the light was in his favor, purposefully maintaining a straight line. I'm pretty sure this rat thought he was human as to my dismay he did NOT stay in the gutter and slink back into the sewer grate.  Rather, he jumped up onto the sidewalk heading RIGHT. TOWARDS. ME. 
That's when my dog saw it. Even though everything was in slow motion, I had no time to react as the rat passed under my dog's nose.
I momentarily lost sight of the rat as it traveled under the dog's head which was now lunging towards the rat.  I heard a snap of teeth, twice...in rapid fire...  At the same time, I also heard a little girl shrieking loudly in my ear.
The rat appeared on the other side of my dog's head, unharmed... obviously oblivious to how close he came to rat-heaven.  The rat trotted over to a nearby newspaper stand, hopped onto it, and sat on it's haunches surveying the chaotic scene.
People were scattering, running into each other, and pointing.  I realized the little girl shrieking in my ear was actually me squealing.  I also realized I was hopping along on one foot like a dufflepod.  My dog was staring at the rat but not advancing.
I collected myself and took a big breath.  "let's get outta here" I thought.  "Forward!"

This rat... I swear was Evel Knievel reincarnated.  Either that or was dared by his mousey friends or had a death wish.  As if waiting for my command as his cue, he jumped off his perch and made another pass towards my dog and I.

This time I was ready.  In the nick-of-time I pulled my dog away from the charging Evel Knievel rat with a death wish. Momentarily, I had envisions of me talking to the GDB veterinary, "Hey, so uh...Dr. Patti...My dog ate a rat today in Portland....is that a big deal?  Should I be worried?"

The rat passed under us again, this time deciding to jump off the sidewalk and into the street where it scurried in the gutter and slid down a drain out of sight.

"Hey, your dog is a guide dog AND a mouser!  Dually trained!" one guy laughed who had witnessed the whole escapade.

At this point, the whole ordeal seemed quite comical.  This stranger and I shared a laugh and a couple of amazed head shakes...and went on our separate ways.

Never. A. Dull. Moment.